We’ve already touched on athletes and their souped up rides here on speeduptraffic.org but what about those shining stars that light up our lives? No, not the big dipper. We are talking about the behemoths of film and television. Stars so bright you have to put on blinders when they drive by in their ultra sleek, ultra flashy cars. Here we have showcased some of the premier talent of the entertainment industry and their premier automobiles.

Simon Cowell – Bugatti Veyron

I guess that essentially being a world class dick for an aggrandized karaoke competition gets you a million dollar Bugatti. God Bless America.

George Clooney – Tango 600

Being the sultan of smug has afforded Mr. Clooney the right to give self-congratulating acceptance speeches at award shows, enjoy the smell of his own farts, and drive this electric car which looks like it was just barely rescued from a junkyard car compactor.

Fergie – H2 Hummer

Fergie is a true superstar. She has joined Madonna, Prince, and Sting in the land of no last names and has openly pissed her pants on stage. Yes, the H2 Hummer represents her just like the rugged F-150 represents the blue collar working man.

That’s all about all we can stomach for now. I gotta take my 1989 Corsica in for a tune-up anyways.

By K. Fitty Ditty

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