That scene of carnage took place at the Russo-Steele auction grounds in Scottsdale, Arizona last Thursday. An estimated $1.5 million in damage was reported after a severe storm struck down a protective tent hovering over the collection of classic cars about to be sold at the auction. About 600 cars were damaged and about 600 owners were enraged to the point of declaring war on Mother Nature herself.

“I CONSIDER THIS THE FIRST SHOT IN THE WAR,” raged classic car owner, Dale Gribbum. “THAT BITCH HAS HAD IT COMIN’ FOR A LONG TIME BUT NOBODY HAS HAD THE GONADS TO STAND UP AND FIGHT BACK UNTIL NOW! DALE GRIBBUM DON’T LET NOBODY MESS WITH HIS PRIDE AND JOY!”

Gribbum added that he plans to fire back by dumping a vat of poison into the lake bordering his town and setting fire to the wooded area surrounding his home.

By K. Fitty Ditty

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