Unfortunately, we still got a couple months left of blasting winds, ice, snow, and physics defying accidents. That is unless you live in the southern regions in which case you have your own non-weather related problems.

Keep your foot on the brake, America.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]

Meet Joleen Baughman

Joleen, 39, was involved in a car accident several years ago that left its mark on her in a very unique way. Joleen is in perpetual heat. That’s right, Joleen has what is referred to in medical journals and in jokes at med student parties everywhere as “Restless Genital Syndrome.” Basically, this simple New Mexico housewife is in a state of sexual arousal 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

When Joleen’s husband of 20 years, Brian, isn’t sending thank you letters to the person who caused the accident that left his wife in a persistent state of sexual arousal, he is taking advantage of his wife’s persistent state of sexual arousal.

“We’d have sex once and I’d feel no release at all,” Joleen said. “So we’d go again and then it would start really hurting but I would still want sex, even more than before. If my husband managed to go for a third time it would be agony but I would still feel no release.”

Unfortunately for Joleen, her ailment is not all rainbows and lollipops. Constantly being aroused might sound like a Swiss picnic but is probably the last thing you want to feel when standing in line at the DMV or sitting in on an important business meeting. Joleen describes her condition as “embarrassing” at times.

Much to Mr. Baughman’s delight, there is still no cure for Restless Genital Syndrome so for the time being he and Joleen will continue to make Hugh Hefner and his girlfriend of the month look like Mormon teenagers on their first date.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 6% [?]