Ok, so I find it unbearably funny, that people still don’t understand why it’s important to drive safely.  Now, understandably, there are people who can reserve the right to drive any way they choose, however, as many of our posts have covered….MOST people should think twice before getting behind the wheel.  Let alone owning and operating a motor vehicle.  So I’m browsing through various news bits when I read this:

Cellphone Curbs May Not Decrease Car Crashes…

WASHINGTON—Laws that forbid motorists from using hand-held phones or texting while driving don’t appear to result in a significant decrease in vehicle crashes, according to a new study by the Highway Loss Data Institute expected to be released Friday.

The study, expected to be released at a conference in Washington, D.C., Friday, comes amid stepped-up efforts by federal highway-safety regulators to ban texting while driving and curb other forms of driver distraction. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood earlier this week announced rules to forbid commercial truck and bus drivers from text messaging while driving. Mr. LaHood has said he would ban all texting while driving if he could…Read the rest here.

So, riddle me this….

If driving isn’t enough of a distraction and we’re going to try and disprove the fact that just about anything you do, outside of paying attention to the road poses as a distraction…how do we explain crap like this?

If anything, we should be telling people how much everything you do is a distraction and how they should pay attention to the road, that’s why we impose crazy laws…because people abuse our freedoms.

After I saw this, I went to shop for better auto insurance, and found some pretty  cheap auto insurance quotes on a site named Cheap Auto Insurance…go figure.  Put in my zip, got a listing of top providers in my location, and was happy to find that my insurer was listed already.  Since I tend to drive fast, I like to get quotes every 6 months ($$$ save that money for sweet upgrades to my Solara!)

It makes me scared that nutjobs like these are out there spouting statistics that don’t make logical sense.  Don’t drink and drive, buckle your seatbelt…and most of all….lol, make sure you’re driving legal.  The license suspension and hella fines are totally not worth it!

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Rey Maualuga, stud linebacker for the 2009 AFC North Champion, Cincinnati Bengals was arrested while driving his 2003 Pontiac Sunfire earlier this morning! No, he was not arrested for driving a seven year old Pontiac although that might just be a crime in the fraternity of professional athletes. He was, however, arrested for driving under the influence in Covington, Kentucky when police pulled him over after he struck two parked cars and knocked over a parking meter. He also had an 18-year-old girl and a juvenile in the car with him. Now that’s drunk driving!

Maualuga, a second round draft pick for the Bengals in the 2009 NFL Draft, signed a contract totalling $4.66 million. Now here at speeduptraffic.org, we give a lot of grief to celebrities and professional athletes that overindulge on their cars so you can see why this is such big (and refreshing) news. Well, minus the whole driving under the influence part but still: chug on in your 2003 Sunfire, Rey. Chug on.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 15% [?]

News out of America’s heartland (Ohio) today: A 48-year-old man by the name of Randy Sipple was charged with something known as “wanton endangerment” when he threw a pick axe through a woman’s window.

This is Randy:

And this is what ‘ol Randy did:

Now, we’ve all experienced road rage in one form another. Some of us let it out in the form of a middle finger and some of us even go as far as to ride the offender’s bumper or cut the offender off. But if you can wake up in the morning and see yourself getting so angry on the road that you THROW a PICK AXE through another person’s window then you should probably stay home that day and watch Family Matters re-runs to remedy your mood.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 6% [?]

Unfortunately, the details are a little iffy as the story is largely a mystery but somewhere a Nissan 370z careened hoodfirst into a House of God.

Pictures:

Is this a sign of the apocalypse? A minion of Lucifer taking the wheel of a Nissan 370z and firing the first shot in the war over humanity? Or is it just the local high school football coach having one brew too many at the local watering hole and becoming just another drunk driving statistic? You decide.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 4% [?]

Just when you thought the Tiger Woods infidelity fiasco was firmly in our rear view mirror, we receive this bit of startling news: General Motors has ordered Tiger to return the cars given to him and is no longer allowed to drive free Cadillacs anymore.

SAAAAAAAAY WHAAAAAAAAAT!?

Sure, Tiger’s many endorsement deals have been rescinded in the wake of his cheating ways and crumbling marriage, but we doubt he’s losing sleep over having his pillowcase full of Tag Heuer wristwatches taken away. No, now he will have to use his many millions and billions of dollars to buy his own Cadillacs just like everybody else.

Maybe this is why:

Full story here: http://content.usatoday.com/communities/driveon/post/2010/01/gm-tiger-woods-doesnt-get-to-drive-free-cadillacs-anymore/1

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]

Everyone remembers that crucial part of driver’s training. You know, the part where you have to parallel park, or perform a successful Y-turn, or just stop on a line. Something tells me this person could not perform any of the aforementioned tasks; at least not in the state they were in when they arrived home the previous night.

Yes, that is a Lamborghini Gallardo and no, these pictures were not taken in Duluth, Minnesota. They were taken in the “celebrity” littered Laurel Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles, California. At first glance one might surmise that the driver of the SUV, in a fit of rage over not owning his or her own Lambo, decided to crush the one parked on their street. But upon further inspection, common knowledge of physics kicks in and we can clearly see the only way for these images to hold true is if the Lambo used its wedge shape to get under the SUV, thus lifting it high into the air where it now rests.

God willing the driver of the Lambo’s Versace sunglasses were smashed by a fist in the aftermath.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 6% [?]

News out of Switzerland today: The obviously rich driver of a Ferrari Testarossa was fined a staggering $290,000 for pushing 85 m.p.h. in a 35 m.p.h. zone. Sure the Swiss have high mountains and mouth watering chocolate but is there system for ticketing drivers an amount based on their wealth fair?

Here’s the full story: Swiss Speeder Fined a Record $290,000

There is no doubt the basis for supporting this movement in this country would essentially be socialist but let’s just stand back and take a look at the pros of fining traffic offenders based on wealth. Most wealthy individuals drive flashy cars and drive dangerously fast because they can afford the futile cost of standard speeding tickets in America. So, if these drivers knew that speeding and committing other dangerous moving violations would end up costing them substantially more than the driver of a 1992 Toyota Corolla, don’t you think there’d be a lot less fast and dangerous drivers on the road?

Counterpoint: It is un-American.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 2% [?]

Unfortunately, we still got a couple months left of blasting winds, ice, snow, and physics defying accidents. That is unless you live in the southern regions in which case you have your own non-weather related problems.

Keep your foot on the brake, America.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 8% [?]

Because it’s only Tuesday and as Americans we find great joy in laughing at the misfortune of others, here is a little clip of what happens when two idiots in a Ford Fiesta try and navigate the black ice covered roads of an English village.

Golly, winter driving blows.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 7% [?]

Rachelle Brown of Houston, Texas is concerned that you’re not getting enough holiday cheer. Seeing as how her decorated house is isolated far from where anyone can see, she has decided to do something about it and that is to bring you the cheer (and possibly the funk) in her snow globe car.Rachelle has decked out her Toyota Corolla with lights, cotton balls to emulate snow flakes, and even a nativity scene which can’t possibly hinder her driving. It’s okay though since she only sets up the nativity scene on Sundays when she goes to church because she knows the route so well she doesn’t need to check her blind spots at all.

God bless us, everyone.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 3% [?]