Ring in America’s birthday the only way she’ll allow: with ice cold beer, grilled meats, and LOUD COLORFUL EXPLOSIONS!

God Bless The U.S. of A.!

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 3% [?]

With bullshit like Twilight and True Blood for the masses to sink their teeth into it seems that vampires and vampire culture is just about everywhere these days. What has resulted are such horrors as Robert Pattinson becoming a household name; more idiots thinking they’re vampires than ever before; and now, said idiot vampire wannabes causing car wrecks.

Why did the vampire cross the road?

http://www.nbc11news.com/home/headlines/97293489.html

To scare a woman in Grand Junction, Colorado into backing her car into a ditch apparently.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 3% [?]

It’s refreshing to see that despite a hundred years of getting knocked around (literally) by the automobile, The Canines have finally put one up on the board against The American Drivers.

Next week they will likely continue their dominance against The Mail Men.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 4% [?]

Its turn ons include idling clusters of small cars and tugboats with a 20 foot clearance.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 4% [?]

Despite our reservations in reinforcing the stereotype of Asians as terrible, horrible, no good drivers: here is a collection of 34 low-speed collisions caught by CCTV cameras.

So whether you’re a motorist, biker, or pedestrian, keep your head on a swivel and foot/hand/mind on the brake.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 5% [?]

Popularity: 5% [?]

Because it’s Monday and you haven’t heard enough about BP and spills lately:

We all know that BP is responsible for the largest oil spill in U.S. history but they are also champions of another kind of spill.

Stay greasy, America.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 4% [?]

Okay, maybe not the actual Batman, but the state of Michigan will take all the help it can get and if that comes in the form of a renegade impostor named Gabe then bring on the Bat!

Gabe bought a beat up 1994 Pontiac Grand Am from Dave’s Towing in Ann Arbor, Mich. that looked exactly like this:

With a little bit of work and a lot of free time, Gabe transformed that mangled wreck into the world’s ugliest looking Batmobile:

The cigarette lighter doubles as an empty hole and the headlights roll back to reveal taggered leather coverings. Yes, the staggering unemployment rate, depleting natural resources, and Detroit: the world’s largest sinkhole, are all shaking in their boots in the wake of “Bat Justice” sweeping the state.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 7% [?]

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Tony’s Pizza. All opinions are 100% mine.

To all the bloggers who have been following us here at SpeedUpTraffic.org and all the car afficianados, thank you and keep posting. As we’ve grown we’ve noticed others noticing us. Today I’d like to personally thank Tony’s Pizza for sending the SpeedUpTraffic team some pretty tasty eats. I personally got a pepperoni pizza. I enjoy crispy edges, so baked according to the directions, however mine turned out semi-crispy. Did I mention that I don’t like burnt crust….hence the reason the pizza turned out quasi-crispy.

If you’re thinking about cheap eats, that are fast, tasty and easy on the go…I’d definitely recommend trying out Tony’s. Now, here’s what I did though, so you can’t hold it against me. I’m a cheese freak, so I added about 2 handfuls of mozarella to the pizza. Also, you should realize, that for $1.75, it’s pretty big for a personal pizza…I’d say it measures up to an inch or so smaller than a standard small pizza. I actually shared mine, but if you share it…it’s only a treat, not really a meal.

So since Tony’s was nice enough to give me 3 for myself and a few to give away to others to try…I did! For those who received the free tasty treat…please go ahead and post what you thought. The overall value alone is a bargain, so it actually tasting good was a surprise. Especially for someone who hasn’t liked pizza since I was 21 and papa john’s was by far the only available pizza, next to mad mushroom around Purdue.

1 reader, if you tweet this post and respond via the comments, will receive the remaining freebie pizza!

GiveTony’s Pizzaa try on us!

Popularity: 4% [?]