Popularity: 4% [?]

Okay, maybe not the actual Batman, but the state of Michigan will take all the help it can get and if that comes in the form of a renegade impostor named Gabe then bring on the Bat!

Gabe bought a beat up 1994 Pontiac Grand Am from Dave’s Towing in Ann Arbor, Mich. that looked exactly like this:

With a little bit of work and a lot of free time, Gabe transformed that mangled wreck into the world’s ugliest looking Batmobile:

The cigarette lighter doubles as an empty hole and the headlights roll back to reveal taggered leather coverings. Yes, the staggering unemployment rate, depleting natural resources, and Detroit: the world’s largest sinkhole, are all shaking in their boots in the wake of “Bat Justice” sweeping the state.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 6% [?]

Purveyor and advocator of the meaty, wonderful, American goodness that is the hot dog: the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile has toured the country for years and years.

Have you ever wondered what it looked like on the inside though?

Somehow disappointing. It does kind of look like the cockpit of a 747 but I expected a throne for God to rest his feet when he’s visiting Earth and a conveyer belt constantly transporting hot dogs complete with mustard, onions, and relish up to the pilot and co-pilot.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 8% [?]

That scene of carnage took place at the Russo-Steele auction grounds in Scottsdale, Arizona last Thursday. An estimated $1.5 million in damage was reported after a severe storm struck down a protective tent hovering over the collection of classic cars about to be sold at the auction. About 600 cars were damaged and about 600 owners were enraged to the point of declaring war on Mother Nature herself.

“I CONSIDER THIS THE FIRST SHOT IN THE WAR,” raged classic car owner, Dale Gribbum. “THAT BITCH HAS HAD IT COMIN’ FOR A LONG TIME BUT NOBODY HAS HAD THE GONADS TO STAND UP AND FIGHT BACK UNTIL NOW! DALE GRIBBUM DON’T LET NOBODY MESS WITH HIS PRIDE AND JOY!”

Gribbum added that he plans to fire back by dumping a vat of poison into the lake bordering his town and setting fire to the wooded area surrounding his home.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 9% [?]

The common perception of Conan O’Brien before this whole Tonight Show fiasco was that of a humble, somewhat dorky man who maybe came off as a bit naive about the business he was in. However, with his Tonight Show unraveling at an ever quickening pace, the real Conan has emerged and he now seems more and more like that kid on the playground who, in response to taking abuse from bullies, exacted a complicated and humiliating revenge that probably involved embarrassment over physical violence.

In case you missed it, Conan has turned the final days of his Tonight Show into one giant middle finger to NBC executives and last night was no exception. But instead of hurling angry epithets at them or crying like a baby he has hit them where it really counts: their wallets.

Unfortunately, NBC has pulled the video clip off the air for fear of losing even more money but ‘ol Coco purchased a very rare Bugatti Veyron, dressed it up as a mouse, and made its theme song, “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones.

“Let me ask you a question,” O’Brien said, standing next to the adorably convincing-looking Bugatti Veyron mouse. “Is this appropriate music for a car that looks like a mouse? No! Does it add anything at all to this comedy bit? No, it doesn’t! Is it crazy expensive to play on the air, not to mention the rights to re-air this clip on the Internet?”

And the total cost to NBC: a cool $1.5 million.

Touche, Mr. O’Brien, touche…

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]

This beauty was spotted in, believe it or not, Ontario, Canada. Conventional wisdom would scream USA! USA! USA! But no, the Canadians apparently have the same (or very similar) species of meatheads cruising their highways and byways as well.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 4% [?]

Let’s say you have $400,000 in American dollars and you want to buy an automobile that costs $400,000 in American dollars. Done deal, right? Not if that $400,000 car you want to buy is the new Lexus LFA.

Despite lagging sales and several nagging safety recalls, Toyota has thrown quite a bit of their eggs into the Lexus LFA basket by making prospective buyers commit to a “coolness test”, more or less.

“We want people who will drive the car, who will be seen in the car,” said Paul Williamson, national manager at Lexus College, Toyota’s dealer training school. “We want it to be seen on the right roads, in front of the right restaurants and not just being enjoyed by one individual in their private garage.”

Lexus plans to manufacture just 500 of these at the rate of about 20 per month so one could make the argument that this is just Lexus attempting to make the most out of their efforts by indirectly marketing the car, and in turn, the Lexus brand to only those who attend the highest scale restaurants, night clubs, and other events of the rich and important.

Then again you can also make the case that Lexus should be focusing their efforts on their middle-of-the-road luxury sedans which are attainable by a much larger portion of the population.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 39% [?]

It might seem inconsequential in light of “The Big Picture,” but the recent NBC Tonight Show controversy involving Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien does indeed have an automotive subplot.

Without digging too much into the real meat of the controversy, it is apparent that Mr. Leno and Mr. O’Brien are on two different sides of the spectrum when it comes to their taste in cars.

First, you got Leno’s infamous car collection:

Leno is reknowned for his massive collection of vintage cars and motorcycles which is arguably one of the best and most complete that money can buy. On top of all the classic vehicles he has in possession, he also has a steam engine which boasts Thomas Edison as a previous owner and yet still functions. Impressive.

Then there’s CoCo’s 1992 Ford Taurus SHO:

He could easily afford an upgrade to say the very least but there is a lot to say for a man who drives the same car he had when he was a struggling writer to now where he, for the time being at least, is at the helm of the multi-million dollar franchise that is the Tonight Show.

Also, Conan’s funnier.

Advantage: Conan

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]

We won’t blame you for guessing the latter but believe it or not it’s the new Volkswagen Compact Coupe which was unveiled at the 2010 North American International Auto Show in Detroit, Michigan this week. The presentation was something of a mash-up between an American Idol concert and a Gap commercial. Kind of odd when it’s all for a car that has a top notch safety record, gets 45 MPG, and was crafted under German excellence.

I mean, a car like this could sell if the display was made up of cotton balls glued to cardboard paper.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 6% [?]

Everyone remembers that crucial part of driver’s training. You know, the part where you have to parallel park, or perform a successful Y-turn, or just stop on a line. Something tells me this person could not perform any of the aforementioned tasks; at least not in the state they were in when they arrived home the previous night.

Yes, that is a Lamborghini Gallardo and no, these pictures were not taken in Duluth, Minnesota. They were taken in the “celebrity” littered Laurel Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles, California. At first glance one might surmise that the driver of the SUV, in a fit of rage over not owning his or her own Lambo, decided to crush the one parked on their street. But upon further inspection, common knowledge of physics kicks in and we can clearly see the only way for these images to hold true is if the Lambo used its wedge shape to get under the SUV, thus lifting it high into the air where it now rests.

God willing the driver of the Lambo’s Versace sunglasses were smashed by a fist in the aftermath.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]