Popularity: 17% [?]

Because it’s Monday and you haven’t heard enough about BP and spills lately:

We all know that BP is responsible for the largest oil spill in U.S. history but they are also champions of another kind of spill.

Stay greasy, America.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 3% [?]

Okay, maybe not the actual Batman, but the state of Michigan will take all the help it can get and if that comes in the form of a renegade impostor named Gabe then bring on the Bat!

Gabe bought a beat up 1994 Pontiac Grand Am from Dave’s Towing in Ann Arbor, Mich. that looked exactly like this:

With a little bit of work and a lot of free time, Gabe transformed that mangled wreck into the world’s ugliest looking Batmobile:

The cigarette lighter doubles as an empty hole and the headlights roll back to reveal taggered leather coverings. Yes, the staggering unemployment rate, depleting natural resources, and Detroit: the world’s largest sinkhole, are all shaking in their boots in the wake of “Bat Justice” sweeping the state.

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 25% [?]

Cruising through the beautiful Northern California countryside on Memorial Day weekend should be a tranquil and peaceful experience. Someone forgot to tell that to this rage fueled driver of a BMW 335i who took exception to the driver of a MazdaSpeed3 following him at a safe and respectable distance while also maintaining a healthy speed.

Apparently there is only room for one fast driver on those Northern California roads and the driver of the “Shitbox” might need to find some new territory.

Video:

By Kyle Fitzsimmons

Popularity: 3% [?]

Ok, so I find it unbearably funny, that people still don’t understand why it’s important to drive safely.  Now, understandably, there are people who can reserve the right to drive any way they choose, however, as many of our posts have covered….MOST people should think twice before getting behind the wheel.  Let alone owning and operating a motor vehicle.  So I’m browsing through various news bits when I read this:

Cellphone Curbs May Not Decrease Car Crashes…

WASHINGTON—Laws that forbid motorists from using hand-held phones or texting while driving don’t appear to result in a significant decrease in vehicle crashes, according to a new study by the Highway Loss Data Institute expected to be released Friday.

The study, expected to be released at a conference in Washington, D.C., Friday, comes amid stepped-up efforts by federal highway-safety regulators to ban texting while driving and curb other forms of driver distraction. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood earlier this week announced rules to forbid commercial truck and bus drivers from text messaging while driving. Mr. LaHood has said he would ban all texting while driving if he could…Read the rest here.

So, riddle me this….

If driving isn’t enough of a distraction and we’re going to try and disprove the fact that just about anything you do, outside of paying attention to the road poses as a distraction…how do we explain crap like this?

If anything, we should be telling people how much everything you do is a distraction and how they should pay attention to the road, that’s why we impose crazy laws…because people abuse our freedoms.

After I saw this, I went to shop for better auto insurance, and found some pretty  cheap auto insurance quotes on a site named Cheap Auto Insurance…go figure.  Put in my zip, got a listing of top providers in my location, and was happy to find that my insurer was listed already.  Since I tend to drive fast, I like to get quotes every 6 months ($$$ save that money for sweet upgrades to my Solara!)

It makes me scared that nutjobs like these are out there spouting statistics that don’t make logical sense.  Don’t drink and drive, buckle your seatbelt…and most of all….lol, make sure you’re driving legal.  The license suspension and hella fines are totally not worth it!

Popularity: 7% [?]

Have you ever heard the expression, “hammering a nail with a sledgehammer?” I’m not sure if that’s the actual saying but it sounds right.

Anyways!

News out of Berlin today: A 76-year-old man, in an attempt to thaw out his car more quickly, stuck a blow heater under the hood. The car was de-thawed and the man was happily and comfortably on the road in a matter of seconds.

…Right?

Wrong. The man went inside and heard several explosions and came out to see his car in flames. The fire department arrived just in time to catch the fire before it caught on the gentleman’s home.

Estimated damage: 40,000 euros

Maybe next time he’ll wake up ten minutes earlier and use that handy little defrost button located conveniently on the console.

Full story: http://af.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idAFTRE60Q4D220100127

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 2% [?]

No, that is not your typical American comfortably cruising their giant Hummer into their spacious 14-car garage on their massive 50-acre property.

We have covered the difference in automotive tastes between the US of A and Europeans here before and this is another example: a man snuggling his 58.5 inch Fiat into a garage that is 61 inches wide. That is leaves about an inch and a half in terms of room for error and I’ll betchya dollars to donuts this guy nails it every time.

I’m not really sure why or how it relates to the world at large but if there were more people like this guy in the world there would probably be less greed, anger, and violence.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 2% [?]

The following video, presumably shot by Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, is of a neighbor cleaning off his car in a peculiar way. Most of us run a brush over the rear windshield, maybe do a once over on the driver’s side windows and blast the windshield wipers on high to take care of the snow on the windshield before driving off.

But this guy is a whole different story:

Apparently he’s feeding everyone in the parking lot a heaping helping of snow cake, or maybe he just has a rampant case of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Either way, he’s probably not getting to work on time.

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 2% [?]

The Adopt-a-Highway program is a nice little initiative aimed to help clean up the highways criss-crossing our great nation…unless the adopting party also happens to be the NEO-NAZI PARTY!

Yes, the Nazi Party of Colorado has purchased a one-mile stretch of US Highway 85 for what we think of as more of a way to get their name on a sign that thousands upon thousands driver can see everyday and become indoctrinated by, rather than helping to solve the litter problem.

Of course the Colorado Department of Transportation initially refused the Nazi’s generous donation but had to relent when the law, and that lovely little thing known as freedom of spreech, turned out to be on the side of the Hitler lovin’ sons of war.

Yes folks, the Nazis are back and have conquered one mile of Colorado highway. Next…the world!

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 2% [?]

Sit back and let your mind drift to a not-so-distant past where the smell of freshly cut grass and sound of children playing radiated through the sun-soaked streets of the neighborhood you grew up in as a child. School was out and the only worry you had was when the ice cream truck would makes its rounds through your area each day and whether or not you would be able to pinpoint its location based on that familiar little jingle.

The pleasant little tune playing from a Good Humor truck plastered with tantalizing pictures of the sweet and refreshingly cold treats held within is something we can all smile about.

This, however, is a different story:

A pedophile driving around in a conversion van playing a tune possibly composed on Satan’s Casio is not where you want your kids getting their summer ice cream from. You know, with Hollywood’s inclination in remaking (and butchering) every classic horror movie ever made how about an original idea for once.

The Ice Cream Man: “He’ll Make You Scream For Ice Cream!”

By K. Fitty Ditty

Popularity: 5% [?]